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A Test on Abuse

22It’s hard to admit it, but maybe teachers are on to something with midterm exams. Sure, many sleepless nights, empty coffee cups and gnawed pencils are often needed to pull off a good grade, but the test does serve a purpose. It gives you an idea of where you’re at in the class.

October is just shy of the time when most have midterms, but we challenge you to test yourself anyway. Since its Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it’s the perfect time to check the status of your relationship. For those not in a relationship, look at the criteria below and see if you’ve experienced any of these with a past relationship or maybe even with a friend.

If you find yourself mentally checking some of these behaviours, know that we’re here to talk about it with you.

Has your partner:

  • Called you names insulted you or continually criticized you?
  • Not trusted you and acted jealous or possessive?
  • Attempted to isolate you from family or friends?
  • Monitored where you go, who you call and who you spend time with?
  • Not wanted you to work?
  • Controlled finances or refused to share money?
  • Punished you by withholding affection?
  • Expected you to ask permission?
  • Threatened to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets?
  • Humiliated you in any way?
 
If so, you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Has your partner ever?

  • Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.)?
  • Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you?
  • Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place?
  • Scared you by driving recklessly?
  • Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you?
  • Forced you to leave your home?
  • Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving?
  • Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention?
  • Used physical force in sexual situations?
 
If so, you may be in a physically abusive relationship.

Would you say your partner:

  • Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles?
  • Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships?
  • Wants you to dress in a sexual way?
  • Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names?
  • Has ever forced or manipulated you into to having sex or performing sexual acts?
  • Held you down during sex?
  • Demanded sex when you were sick, tired or after beating you?
  • Hurt you with weapons or objects during sex?
  • Involved other people in sexual activities with you?
  • Ignored your feelings regarding sex?

 

If so, you may be in an sexually abusive relationship.
 
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